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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26087899">Proximity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrinking_universe/pseuds/shrinking_universe'>shrinking_universe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: The Next Generation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Getting Together, Jealousy, M/M, Yearning, touch starved geordi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:54:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26087899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrinking_universe/pseuds/shrinking_universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Geordi is plagued with jealousy after he sees Dr. Julian Bashir interacting with Data.</p>
<p>Set after 6x16 ‘Birthright part I’</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Data/Geordi La Forge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Proximity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Data was talking about his latest dream.</p>
<p>“This time, Dr. Soong was absent entirely. I was not on the ship, but exploring a new planet.”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh,” Geordi nodded, trying to focus on the energy relay he was supposed to be upgrading. His chest felt constricted, his limbs tense. He could barely hear what Data was talking about, which made him feel incredibly guilty. Data’s newly acquired capability to dream would have fascinated him to no end and would have made him happy for his sake under normal circumstances.</p>
<p>But his thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone, no matter how much distance the Enterprise was putting between themselves and Deep Space Nine, no matter how relieved he was that the doctor had left. And even though it had been Soong who had installed Data’s ability to dream in the first place, Geordi still, petulantly, couldn’t help but secretly resent the fact that it had been Bashir who had given Data access to them. Even if it had been accidental.</p>
<p>And there was no way he’d ever explain to Data <em>why </em>he felt so resentful. He’d just need to get over it by himself.</p>
<p>“Geordi, is there a reason you have rewired that same circuit twice?” Data asked, interrupting his own description of the dream.</p>
<p>Geordi paused, carefully inserted the circuit back and wordlessly started detaching a different circuit. He avoided looking at Data, although from the corner of his eye he could see Data’s shape twitch slightly, which probably meant he was cocking his head to the side in a puzzled manner.</p>
<p>He was going to ask something. He more or less always did, when he didn’t understand something. He couldn’t blame him. They were a confusing species, humans. With stupid, irrational emotions. Emotions that made Geordi want to quit his shift early and go sulk somewhere on the other side of the ship, as far away from Data as he could.</p>
<p>“The warp core’s input panel needs to be rebooted,” Geordi said, before Data could ask.</p>
<p>“Yes, I know,” Data said. “But not before the relay is updated.”</p>
<p>Geordi sighed. He’d partly hoped Data would have just descended to the core in advance to prepare the panel so Geordi could have escaped his assessing gaze, but Data was tinkering with his own projects.</p>
<p>“Do you need assistance with the relay?” Data then asked.</p>
<p>“No,” Geordi scoffed. It was an easy job.</p>
<p>“You appear to be distracted,” Data noted.</p>
<p>Geordi sighed, irritated. “I’m not.”</p>
<p>Data fell silent again.</p>
<p>Geordi risked a glance at him, and as he’d expected, the glowing, fluctuating form of Data was facing him directly, which meant he was staring at him.</p>
<p>“Long day,” Geordi gave as a false explanation.</p>
<p>“The passage of time has remained unchanged during the past twenty-four hours, with no additional hours, minutes or seconds,” Data replied helpfully. “If you are referring to the length of your shift instead, you are only halfway through it.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Geordi said dryly.</p>
<p>“Are you fatigued? Do you need to visit the sickbay?” Data asked.</p>
<p>“I’m <em>fine</em>!” Geordi snapped, accidentally raising his voice. Some of the ensigns milling around engineering appeared to pause in their tracks, but mercifully continued working.</p>
<p>Both of their communicators chirped.</p>
<p>“Senior staff, meeting in five,” Captain Picard announced.</p>
<p><em>Thank the stars, </em>Geordi thought as they made their way to the conference room, glad for an escape out of the conversation.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>After the uneventful meeting, Geordi made quick work of the relay. Data had stayed behind for some reason, and his absence made him work quicker. He even had time to move on to work on the warp core’s panel before Data returned. The steady hum of the core calmed him somewhat, and the ensigns on shift with him had gone to catch their lunch breaks. He was grateful for the solitude, but the lack of background chatter made him more aware of himself, made him reimagine the conversation he’d overheard over and over again.</p>
<p>It was still on his mind when he heard the steady noise of someone gently climbing down the ladder to the core. He knew without looking that those were Data’s familiarly steadfast footsteps.</p>
<p>“You are almost done,” Data remarked.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Geordi nodded from where he was crouching with his tools.</p>
<p>“I talked to Counsellor Troi after the meeting. She said she could sense you were upset about something,” Data said matter-of-factly.</p>
<p>Geordi blew breath from his cheeks.</p>
<p>“Did she say why?” Geordi asked with dread. He put his tools down and turned around on his haunches to face Data.</p>
<p>“No. She said I should talk to you. I agreed.”</p>
<p>“Dammit,” Geordi said, defeated. He slumped down to sit on the cool metal floor, leaning his back and head against the railing surrounding the core. A shiver of embarrassment creeped down his spine at the thought that Deanna might have a hunch about his problem, but he couldn’t blame her for noting it or encouraging Data to ask about it. Deanna was only doing her job, and they’d all be screwed without her: living confined on a starship with the same people every day while repressing their feelings and thoughts.</p>
<p>And he couldn’t blame Data at all, either. He didn’t know. But he felt awful about having to let him know. This was <em>his </em>own stupid problem. It wasn’t Data’s fault.</p>
<p>“You’re my best friend, Geordi,” Data added, standing by the ladder and looking at him. “If something is wrong, I would like you to be able to tell me. Nothing has appeared to happen to cause you harm, and yet you are upset.”</p>
<p><em>Nothing has appeared to happen</em>, Geordi repeated to himself sourly. Of course nothing would have, to Data. But it was eating at him, and he guessed he had to let it out somehow now that Data was directly asking about it.</p>
<p>“<em>I’ve</em> noticed you can breathe,” he blurted out.</p>
<p>Data paused, his head making that minute movement again.</p>
<p>“You are referring to-“ he began hesitantly.</p>
<p>“When you told that Bashir that no one has ever before noticed that you can breathe,” Geordi finished for him quickly.</p>
<p>“You have noticed?” Data asked.</p>
<p>“Of course! Like you said, we’re best friends. Of course I have,” Geordi said defensively. Sometimes, when they’d been working unusually close by to each other, he’d even felt the tiny puffs of breath which were much more subtle than a human’s but still there.</p>
<p>“Yes, it is likely that you would have noticed,” Data agreed. “The possibility of it is high, with the amount of time we have spent together. But nobody had ever remarked upon it before. It surprised me.”</p>
<p>Geordi felt something uncomfortable twist within him. He thought it was interesting and amazing, too, that Data could breathe, that he had a pulse. But he’d never wondered about it out loud because Data was his own individual person and not just a scientific miracle, a sum of his parts. Yes, Geordi would love to feel his pulse, had relished those rare moments when he could feel the hint of it when his hand would accidentally brush near his neck as he fixed him. But it wasn’t his place to marvel at that, he didn’t have the right. Why did Julian Bashir have it?</p>
<p>“What did you think of him? The doctor?” Geordi couldn’t help but ask.</p>
<p>He didn’t know whether it had been his accent or maybe his polite but enthusiastic way of interacting with Data, but something about Dr. Bashir had made Geordi feel on edge. He’d seemed charming, and as unfair as it was, Geordi didn’t like it. He knew lots of people found Data delightful, and it was understandable. And he knew that Data liked most people he met, and easily made friends despite thinking he was inadequate at interacting with others. He didn’t resent that. He wanted Data to have friends. But <em>Bashir… </em>He’d touched Data so casually; he’d seen him grab his wrist to feel his pulse just because he wanted to. The lack of consent made Geordi feel offended on Data’s behalf, but if he was honest with himself, he was also incredibly jealous. Jealous of Bashir’s charming manner, jealous that Data had seemed to get along with him so quickly, jealous that he’d gotten to touch Data.</p>
<p>It took so much effort to suppress his own desire to touch Data. He saw him every day, and every day he would yearn for the chance to be closer to him. Nothing grand, necessarily, but he wished he could just… squeeze his hand sometimes, stroke him on the shoulder as he passed him by at work. Cuddle up against him when they were hanging out in Data’s quarters, give him a kiss after a lovely evening on the holodeck.</p>
<p>And he’d been getting quite good at suppressing those wishes. He worked closely with him sometimes, yes, but he’d managed to keep his distance otherwise. Getting to fix or update him were rare moments of intimacy that he looked forward to, but he never took advantage of them. He made himself remain professional and distant, while trying not to let anything on. He repressed his feelings so hard that he felt cold at times; Data might have a malfunction and Geordi would approach him calmly and analytically and later, by himself, shiver in his own quarters as he thought about how much he would have needed to touch him reassuringly, how <em>he </em>wanted to be reassured by Data’s touch.</p>
<p><em>And Bashir had just grabbed his wrist. </em>Yes, it was just to check if he had a pulse. But Geordi couldn’t stop seeing it in his mind, as if the VISOR was replaying the moment for him.</p>
<p>“I find it difficult to build an assumption on a person based on such a brief encounter,” Data started answering his question, “but Dr. Bashir seemed pleasant with good intentions. A person easy to work with.”</p>
<p>Geordi nodded slowly. True enough, he wouldn’t deny it just because he was jealous.</p>
<p>“This does not explain why you are upset,” Data pointed out.</p>
<p>Geordi ignored the comment. “Do you… like it when people notice and point out human-like things about you?”</p>
<p>Data pondered this. “Not necessarily. I like being regarded as an equal, as you regard me. And I want to be an equal to humans. But sometimes, I also feel something akin to pride at my uniqueness.”</p>
<p>“As you should,” Geordi said, a hint of warmth creeping into his voice despite how tense he still was.</p>
<p>“Thank you. At times, I find myself being able to enjoy such attention as Dr. Bashir directed towards me, as I could see that it was well-intentioned. Additionally, although it did surprise me as well, I enjoyed his physical approach.”</p>
<p>“<em>What?” </em>Geordi exclaimed incredulously, too startled to decide how to feel, so surprised that he banged his head on the railing. He rubbed the back of his head.</p>
<p>“Yes, surprising, perhaps,” Data mused. “I appreciate the friendships I have gained aboard the Enterprise. And in observing the crew and their relationships, I have come to understand that I would like to experience closeness at times as well. Differently to humans, I am sure, as I have no real feelings.”</p>
<p>Geordi’s tongue felt dry and his head was buzzing and pounding with this new information, but he found himself opening his mouth at this, feeling defensive on Data’s behalf. “Data, you keep saying you don’t have feelings, but I think you do feel things in your very own way.”</p>
<p>“Yes. I do think I agree. But as I said, it is different, and therefore difficult to explain to others. I have no personal interest in Dr. Bashir. However, he happened to touch my wrist in such an abrupt way that it made me realise it was something I had been looking forward to.”</p>
<p>“People touching your wrist?” Geordi said weakly.</p>
<p>“Occasional closeness with romantic overtones,” Data clarified.</p>
<p>Geordi got to his feet shakily. He felt the need to get a grasp on this conversation somehow, and him sitting on the floor while Data looked down at him didn’t help.</p>
<p>“But… what about your… disastrous attempt with Lieutenant D’Sora?” he asked.</p>
<p>“That was a regrettable mistake,” Data agreed. “I expected too much of myself. As did she. She was my friend, and therefore I wanted to make her happy by complying to her needs but I failed. I now see that I was mistaken. I created a romantic subroutine for her, but it was not what I wanted or who I was. But as I have grown more acquainted with the idea of what it means to be myself, I wish to experience closeness without changing who I am. And with a person I am close to.”</p>
<p>“Are you saying you’re lonely? And Bashir made you notice it?” Geordi asked, his chest aching at the idea of a lonely android.</p>
<p>“I do not know if ‘lonely’ is the right word for it. This is an ongoing assessment process for me. But there is a person I feel closer to than anyone else, who does not touch me. And yes, Dr. Bashir’s physical approach alerted me to this difference, this possibility.”</p>
<p>“There’s a person?” Geordi said quietly, scared of the answer.</p>
<p>Data appeared to hesitate for just a second, a quiet second that was filled only with the warp core’s humming and that felt longer than it was.</p>
<p>Logically, he should have known what Data would say as there weren’t that many possibilities. But it still didn’t prepare him for it.</p>
<p>“You, Geordi,” Data replied.</p>
<p>Geordi just stared at him.</p>
<p>“I- what?” he could only say. The situation felt completely surreal, suddenly. He wished time could have appeared to have slowed down again. Instead, he was painfully aware of the moment, aware that Data was observing him and waiting for him to reply.</p>
<p>“What?” he repeated. He felt like laughing or running away. He had not been prepared for this. He’d assumed the day would have ended with him seething by himself until the end of the shift and then trying to calm himself down from a headache. Now, he felt oddly clear, thoughts of Julian Bashir flying out of his head like a burst helium balloon. Clear, but also weak in the legs at what he was hearing, what this was implying.</p>
<p>“I apologise if-“ Data began, but Geordi interrupted him.</p>
<p>“Wait,” he said, and took a few steps closer to him. He wanted to see his face closer. From far away, Data’s features were quite indistinguishable to him, especially with his special, flickering aura. He didn’t need to see him from up close all the time, as he was more to him than just a face. Everyone was. The cadences in his friends’ voices, the word choices they used, the ways they stood and moved, the ways <em>particles </em>moved around them, things like these were enough to tell him what he needed, to understand them individually.</p>
<p>But he also knew, from those moments when he’d stood close enough to Data to distinguish enough of his face, close enough to see the shadows and different colours moving across his features, that he was beautiful. And he needed to see him as he said these things.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know,” Geordi said with an incredulous laugh as he tentatively took Data’s right hand in his, scarcely believing he <em>could</em>. He felt heat flare all over his face. “I didn’t know you’d <em>ever </em>want that.”</p>
<p>“Do you?” Data asked.</p>
<p>“<em>Yes,</em>” Geordi said and couldn’t help but grin, heart thumping in his chest so hard that Data probably heard it. “Of course.”</p>
<p>“But you pursue women occasionally,” Data said, and although it was more of an observation than a question, it sounded very much like the latter.</p>
<p>Geordi thought about the various failures and questionable encounters he’d had with women with embarrassment.</p>
<p>“I think I’ve…,” Geordi hesitated, trying to put his feelings into words which he’d never had the courage to do, even to himself before. But they were pouring out of him now in a startled ramble. “…I’ve pursued those relationships because I thought they were what I wanted. That maybe I was supposed to be in a ‘normal’ relationship. But they always fail, because I don’t think I’m cut out for that. I don’t think I’ve ever really wanted that. I think they’ve been a way for me to try to… achieve closeness, because I’ve thought I would never be able to get that with you.”</p>
<p>“I understand. You are saying that in a way, you are like me,” Data observed.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Geordi said, laughing a little breathily as he realised how surreal yet true that was. “I don’t want the kind of relationship that I thought I was supposed to want. I… like what we have, but…,” he trailed off, still too unsure to assert what he wanted.</p>
<p>“You would like to take it further,” Data said.</p>
<p>Geordi felt his hand beginning to sweat a bit in Data’s, but he didn’t want to let go. His heart was still racing.</p>
<p>“Only if you do,” he said uncertainly, breath catching a little.</p>
<p>“I already told you so,” Data pointed out.</p>
<p>Geordi hesitated, but he knew he’d have to say what was gnawing at him out loud because otherwise Data would probably not pick up on it.</p>
<p>“And this would not be an experiment for you? Something that you try out for a week just to collect information?” he asked, looking at Data’s face.</p>
<p>Data did not frown, or twitch in uncertainty. But up-close, Geordi could just about see his eyes flick up and down along Geordi’s face, in a way that appeared shy. Geordi was well aware that ‘shy’ might not be the most accurate term for an android, but he also knew Data. As awkward or tone-deaf as Data sometimes could be with human interactions, he did also care about people’s feelings.</p>
<p>“No. It is of interest to me, and I would like to experience this with you, but I do not see it as an experiment. But I do need you to be aware that if you set your expectations of our possible relationship too high, you will most likely end up disappointed and I do not want to hurt you,” Data said calmly.</p>
<p>“Oh, Data,” Geordi smiled. “I’d never expect anything of you that you don’t want or aren’t ready for.”</p>
<p>“In that case, introducing intimate proximity to our friendship would be suitable and I welcome your touch,” Data nodded.</p>
<p>Geordi felt his smile grow into a huge grin again. He didn’t want someone who said suave things that were generally deemed romantic. He loved the things <em>Data</em> said. To him, they were endearing and romantic in their own ways.</p>
<p>He gave Data’s hand a soft squeeze. Data looked down at their clasped hands and repeated the squeeze with curiosity. Then he looked back up at Geordi, and although Data never smiled the way humans did, he did that curt little nod of his. His facial expression was calm and open; he was satisfied and intrigued.</p>
<p>Geordi couldn’t stop smiling.</p>
<p>“Is the reason you were upset related to this topic?” Data enquired.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Geordi admitted. “I was jealous. It’s a human thing, one you’ve probably heard of. But I’m not upset anymore,” he clarified.</p>
<p>“That is fascinating,” Data remarked.</p>
<p>“Stupid, more like,” Geordi replied, already embarrassed about his previous behaviour now that it didn’t concern him anymore.</p>
<p>“I disagree. You are an intelligent being, Geordi,” Data said helpfully.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Geordi laughed with amusement.</p>
<p>The sounds of the ensigns returning from lunch filled engineering above them, their voices carrying over the core’s humming.</p>
<p>“Let’s get back to work,” Geordi suggested, and detached his hand from Data’s. But, because he could, he gave him a little kiss on the cheek before going back to the panel he’d been working on. He tried to breathe evenly and calm his heart, but truthfully he didn't put that much effort into it.</p>
<p>He glanced back quickly, and saw Data touching his own cheek briefly, as if taking care to register the sensation to his memory banks. Geordi was registering it too, in his way. He thought about Data’s skin. It had been soft and smooth, except perhaps slightly cooler and less supple than organic skin. This was something he already knew, but not in this context. The thought made him smile widely again, feeling giddy with the knowledge that this was the start of something new but also content because he knew he had nothing to fear with Data. They’d still be best friends as well, as they had been.</p>
<p>“I was supposed to enhance the core’s plasma injectors today,” Data said.</p>
<p>“Well, then,” Geordi gestured around the room jovially. “Join me.”</p>
<p>They settled into a comfortable silence for a while, as they focused on getting to their own separate tasks on opposite ends of the core. Geordi was only supposed to reboot the panel, as upgrading it wasn’t exactly the highest on their list of priorities at the moment. The energy relay had been more important. But he ended up starting the upgrades early anyway. He didn’t mind the extra work at all.</p>
<p>“Tell me about that dream of yours again, Data,” he said fondly, as he programmed the codes in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know in the scene geordi is a bit further away and might not have heard/seen everything, but I like to think he did for the Drama of it all. also I haven’t seen DS9 (yet) or finished TNG past this episode (yet) so if there are any glaring mistakes, forgive me. comments are so welcome! pls let me know your thoughts. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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